Him...
by musicdied
Summary: Shinobu tells how she feels about Kentarou to the audence


Disclaimer: Love Hina and all of the characters discussed, portrayed, implied or talked about are not creations of my own. They are properties of TV Tokyo and any/all their other respective owners. The collections of letters/words below is a creation of my own doing though, and I would greatly appreciate if it would not be distributed or copied or edited or posted without letting me know (musicdied@hotmail.com) beforehand ^_^ But of course if you wish to slam my story or point out the inaccuracies, you may feel free to print off this story and insert it firmly where the sun dont shine ^__^   
  
This little piece falls into the manga story line of Love Hina roughly after volume 5. It's told by Shinobu, if you couldn't tell, as if she was describing how she met and feels about Keitarou. There are some mild spoilers in this piece, so if you want to say 100% ignorant to the story line don't read on...  
  
btw- even though I didnt expect it, this story actulay got an honorable mention at the Anime North fanfiction constest. Imagine how good I could of done if I took more than a week to write it! ^_^'  
  
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At first when I met Keitarou, I thought he was strange. He walked right into all of our lives and showed us the worst side of him... Literally. The first time I saw him he ran up to me, flipped up his towel, and exposed himself. Even though I knew soon after that it was just an accident, he still kind of disgusted me. I couldn't believe how quickly my opinion of him changed, even though now I see that it shouldn't have quite so soon. All in the same day I was thinking that maybe Keitarou was all right, maybe I just happened to see the worst right away, maybe there was more to him. He did seem interesting, of course anyone new that came along was like that to me. Still, he definitely caught my interest like no one I met before. At that point I started to feel like I might like Keitarou.  
  
I know he was someone I just met, but there was something about him. I suppose I saw a bit of myself in him and I could relate. Keitarou was the one that was always down, he couldn't seem to do anything right... I suppose it's a bit bad of me to say that about him, but it was true. We did relate really well though. He talked to me like I was his equal, not a child like everyone else, even though at the time I thought he was a student at Tokyo University. We talked a lot about his time there. He made me feel like if someone that was like him could do something like that, there might be hope for me. It was an amazing feeling, I actually felt that I might be able to do everything he said. I made a vow with myself at that point, I would go to Tokyo University too, just like Keitarou.  
  
All that didn't last long though, but with him what can you expect. Keitarou spied on me in the bath, and I found out that he really wasn't in Tokyo University, I hated him... But I didn't, I couldn't really hate him. He was like me, and because of that I guess I could forgive him. It was strange but he always went back and forth between love and hate with all of us. He had a knack for doing things that would cause us to hate him, but in no time we'd be back to normal. I'm not sure if it was to make it up to me or not, but soon after he did the sweetest thing for me. No one knew that it was my birthday, but Keitarou somehow found out and organized a party with everyone. I was amazed that he would do something like that just for me. He even managed to make me believe that I could succeed again... But, just like Keitarou, he ended up embarrassing me again and again and again.  
  
From the start I thought that no one else really felt towards Keitarou like I did. He was despised for being a pervert and idiot, and everyone made it clear that they thought he was really unattractive. I was kind of thankful, I really didn't think I would be able to compete with the other girls when it came to a boy. They all had their special traits, but every one of them was older and more mature than me. I was jealous every time I heard them talking about boys or saw them in the bath. I was trapped in my body. I wanted more than anything to grow up. I wanted to be able to make Keitarou look at me like he looked at other girls. He was nice, and treated me like I wasn't a child, but I knew when he looked at me that wasn't what he saw. I wanted to have a body as perfect as Naru, one that was as beautiful and womanly as her. I'm sure Keitarou liked to look at her, I saw it all the time. Why would be wait for me to grow up, when he could have her right away?  
  
Slowly though I began to realize that, even though she was violent and rude to him, Naru liked Keitarou too. It was subtle at first, just the way she would look at him, and occasionally smile or say something, but it was there. The thing that really hurt me though, was that Keitarou seemed to feel the same way towards her. He was always talking about a promise he made to a girl when he was little, and I thought that maybe he thought that girl was Naru. If that was the case, there was no way I could make Keitarou like me more than her. There would be no competition if they were already destined to be together. It was something that I thought was unfair, why should Naru have claimed him so early and still have any right to call him hers? She shouldn't. It was a long time ago, they didn't even remember each other. I should have just as much right to Keitarou as her.  
  
I have to admit, I hated Naru for wanting Keitarou and having him want her too. I know she couldn't help it, Keitarou would like whoever he wanted, and if that person wasn't me there was nothing I could do. Still, it took all my willpower to smile every time I saw them together. I just couldn't stop myself from thinking that he deserved better than Naru. She treated him like garbage, he tried his best to make her happy but she just beat him and put him down all the time. I wanted to tell her that she was acting stupid, that she should treat him the way he would treat her, but I never did. I was always to shy to say anything about it, and to this day I regret not saying a word... It might have changed things between Naru and Keitarou. Of course it wouldn't of really done me any good, but if I knew I could Keitarou just a little happier it would be worth it. But if by some fluke I actually managed to get together with him, I wouldn't treat him like she did. I would do my best to make sure Keitarou would treasure every moment I was with him as much as I did...   
  
I always had this little fantasy about what it would be like if I ever told him how I feel. I would knock at his door and he would tell me to come in. It would be after dinner, he would have been just finishing his studying for the day then. Anyway, he would look up from his work and smile at me and thank me for the tea and cookies I brought him. I would bring the tray over to the table and lay it down before I sat at the table with him. I'd sit there tensely as he picks up his cup and takes a sip of the tea, and blush slightly as he smiles his warm smile and tells me it's great. I'd ask him what he was studying, and he would say it was his calculus. He'd sigh and say it wasn't going well, no surprise since it was his worse subject. Then he'd lay down his cup, look me right in the eyes, and ask me what I was up too. I'd look away and say that I wasn't doing anything, I just came to see him. Then he'd ask me why. I'd get flustered and not know what to say, he would lean over and lay a hand on my shoulder. He'd ask me if there was something wrong, and I would meekly look at him and blurt out that I loved him. He'd look surprised and maybe blush too, then he'd smile and tell me that he felt the same way... Or maybe get all embarrassed and do something stupid, that sounds more like him. Then he would hold me in his arms and I would feel so at peace, and it would all be perfect. But I guess that's just a dream, I could never be brave enough for something like that to happen.  
  
Unfortunately, Naru wasn't the only one that set their sights on Keitarou. Even though the girls at the dorm were the ones I thought I would worry about the most, the next major competition for me was Mutsumi Otohime. I never thought that Keitarou would meet someone like her! It happened when Naru and him ran off together all of a sudden on what we all thought was a lover's retreat. Turns out it wasn't anything like that though, they just failed their exams and couldn't face us so they went off separately to clear their heads. Of course, Naru and him ended up crossing paths and they decided to go on together. Along the way somehow they met Mutsumi, and Keitarou hit it off with her instantly.  
  
It was amazing, but at one point or another everyone at the dorm eventually realized that they had feelings for Keitarou... From Suu to even Motoko, like it or not they all saw what I saw in Keitarou from day one. It was strange really how it all came to pass, none of them seemed like they really tried. Even thought it was obvious how they felt, they never really went all out try and get him. Sure, they all made their attempts at winning him over, but it always seemed like it was just an half-hearted effort. Every time someone decided to act on how they felt it started off like it was a big thing, but every time it was all over in less than a day. I have to admit, every time someone else showed an interest in Keitarou I worried a little. For every other person that was after him there was less of a chance that he would notice me, and the other girls were far prettier than me. Of course compared to Naru and Mutsumi the others were almost no concern to me.  
  
If I had to choose someone other than me for Keitarou, I'd prefer Mutsumi over Naru. Mutsumi was a much more caring person than Naru, she was very warm to Keitarou. Mutsumi would casually show how she felt all the time, hugging him and just being close to him and showing how much she loved it. I know that Keitarou liked her too, it was obvious when you saw how he let her hang on him. It was It was unbelievable how well those two got along, it was like their meeting was fate. Just looking at the two of them together you would think that they were already a couple. They were so alike in all the wrong ways, it was almost cute to watch... Still though I wanted to be the one he was with, but once again I was outclassed. Mutsumi was just as beautiful as Naru, and even had a bigger chest, but it wasn't that which made me think I couldn't win. She had an air about her, she wasn't a girl like the rest of us, she was a woman. Even with her childish personality she just seemed to be so mature, it was one thing that I could never be able to achieve if I needed it to win Keitarou over.   
  
There was a time though when it seemed like I might actually have a chance to let Keitarou know how I felt. It was summertime, everyone was going about what they normally do and no one was really acting overly warm to Keitarou. Naru was at the dorm as she normally was, but she had a visitor one day that she never thought she'd see again. On that day her old tutor Seta, who was back in Japan, came to visit her. As I heard it, Seta was a tutor for both Kisune and Naru back in high school. He left on assignment from Tokyo University to go far away on an archaeology expedition. Even though Naru didn't talk about it much, she had really developed a crush for Seta. She was totally devastated when he just up and left her, but even though she was made Naru still liked him. I suppose I understand that pretty well with the way I feel about Keitarou... Anyway, when Naru saw Seta again on that day she acted like no time had passed since they last met. She wasn't herself, or maybe she was, she acted like she was ditz! She was all over herself when she was around Seta... I thought it was a good sign, maybe she would lose interest in Keitarou with Seta around. I was even more excited when Keitarou actually tried to help Naru tell Seta how she felt. It seemed so perfect, I would finally get my chance to tell Keitarou how I really felt... But I never did.  
  
I was given a great chance but I just couldn't take advantage of it. I even had a perfect opportunity to let it slip out one night. We were at a festival at the beach, Naru and Keitarou had a big fight so she went off with Seta and Keitarou decided to be with me... I was so happy at the time that he wanted to be with me. I had him all to myself at a place that I knew was extremely romantic. We walked arm in arm the entire time, looking at the sights and playing games, it was just like we were on a first date. It was so wonderful, I finally thought that I could tell him how I felt... But the image of Naru and him together stayed in the back of my mind the entire time. I knew how they got along, and how much they cared for each other. The more Naru abused him the more she tried to hide how much she liked him, and she abused him A LOT. Keitarou would do anything for Naru, that's why he always let her take her anger out on him. I knew they really cared for each other, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't bring myself to say anything that might cause trouble between them. When I finally thought I might let it slip out, I actually told him to make up with Naru and then ran away. Even though I spent most of that night crying, I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. After we went our separate ways I'm not really sure if Keitarou went to find Naru or not. I think he might have though, when I saw him the next day he did look a bit beat up...   
  
It was strange how this person who just was dropped into our lives so suddenly could become so close to us. We hated him with every thread of our being and loved him like he was a brother, and sometimes even more. The slow, perverted, idiot that everyone hated was just the surface, inside he was one of the most sweet caring people that you would ever meet. I'm glad that I saw that real Keitarou, otherwise I would of acted towards him like the others did at first. If that was the case, it would of never got to the point where I feel towards him like I do. I know that there is only a little chance that I'll ever let Keitarou know how I really feel. I might never tell him, but I do know that in my own way I will keep trying. And maybe someday, if everything feels right and I have the courage, I'll smile warmly, look him in the eyes, and say, "I like you a lot sempai." 


End file.
